38 weeks! :O

I'm going to be bad this week and not bother with a belly shot or the standard weekly questions. Because I feel like crap and I just can't believe I'm still preggo. I remember thinking in my early weeks how great it would be to make it to 38 weeks. But let me be the first to admit that I've been 'done' being pregnant for the last week, and hated being pregnant these last few days. 

It sounds so awful to say that, but I went into this blogging journey to be honest with how things are going and how I'm feeling. So not holding back....I've absolutely hated being pregnant these last few days. I've gotten no sleep (while everyone keeps spouting to me 'oh enjoy sleep while you can!' psh), my belly has gotten so heavy that the pressure on my hips and legs is unreal, I get bouts of nausea and I can't figure out why and to top it all off, I can't take baths anymore because apparently that's too relaxing and it might slow/stop labor. WAH!

Everyone, David and myself especially, is just on edge waiting for Jack and Clare's big arrival, which doesn't make all these "early stages of labor" things any easier.

For the past couple of days, I just hurt all over. That's about the only consistent thing. And that's the thing I'm learning about going into labor....things need to be consistent for it to be the real deal. Which is irritating because the only thing I can say with absolute certainty is that I've been consistently miserable the past few days. 

I look up the difference between false labor and active labor and I fit into both categories. A big difference is where you feel contraction pain. Does it start in your lower abdomen? That's false labor. Active labor contractions start in your back and work their way forwards. But anyone will tell you that contractions feel like horrible menstrual cramping. Which for me did not happen in my back. So that's confusing. 

Plus my back is pretty much in a state of pain all the damn time now because I've got so much friggin weight in my front. What's a girl to do? Not go to the hospital, that's what >:(

I really thought, in my 1st time mom naïveté, that one day I'd wake up and be all like "IT IS TIME", and go to the hospital and that's where all the pain, nerves, and waiting would kick in.

Nope, it happens at home. Which again,  I've heard so many stories of women telling me "yeah I waited at home, just working through my contractions" like they were so confident that they were feeling contractions. They knew they were in labor and their motherly instincts told them to stay at home, that their little bundle of joy wasn't ready yet.
How come I'm not sure!? What's wrong with my motherly instincts?! Maybe this isn't the real deal! But it should be, this is their due date time!

Le sigh. So much ranting. I know I should be focusing on mellowing out but this has truly been the hardest part of being pregnant. And I just didn't expect it to be, for some reason.

I will admit it's been super cute how David has kicked into 'Dad Mode' this past week. One night he sat me down and wanted to go through every possible 'Jennica is going into labor' scenario, and advise him on what he should do. He's constantly checking in on me, talking to my belly telling the kids how excited he is to meet them. He likes being in control of the situation, and this is definitely one of those times that he just can't be. 

I didn't realize that as much as a horrible waiting game this is for me, it's just as bad (ok...nearly as bad haha) for him. He has to go to work and wait for my call, which I know makes him uncomfortable. 

At least I know that I don't know what's going on with my body. But he has to ask me what the status is, and every time I get weepy, trying to explain the pain I'm feeling, I know he feels pretty helpless. Which again, I thought we'd be going through at the hospital...not for days and days at home. 

So I guess this is my [pretty depressing] update. 
I'm 38 weeks today. 
I'm not sure if I'm in labor. 
I really want to be. 

37 weeks and counting?

Fun fact: I used to wear this "shirt" as a dress :O

37 weeks. It's amazing the babes and I have made it this far. The majority of twin pregnancies start labor around 36 weeks, so we're already ahead of the curve! Although I think this statistic is a bit skewed because I know if the two are sharing a placenta/amniotic sac, they come earlier. As opposed to my baby beans who each have their own little apartment goin' on. At this point, I'm feeling pretty good that we'll have 6 pounders on their birthday.

In other news, I've finally hit the point where I don't think I could get any bigger. Where I'm starting to think that my body couldn't possibly handle getting any bigger. So needless to say the past week I've been doing everything to start labor, without going too extreme (I mean...I know they say spicy food can work, but I don't want to end up having a super upset stomach and MONDO heartburn and still not go into labor. Taco Bell counts, right?) Obviously, nothing has worked so far :(

We had our first fetal non stress test (NST) yesterday, where they monitor the babes' heartbeats when they move and when they aren't moving, to make sure it's spiking at the appropriate time (I think...) But it also monitors if I'm having contractions. The last couple of days, I think I've been feeling sporadic ones, so when I asked the nurse (after the 40 minute test) if anything was going on, she looked at me and said "No." 

Well, she said more about it being just normal irritability (do I need to start damning that Taco Bell??) DARN IT ALL but all I heard was the resounding 'no'. I could just feel the beans high fiving in there, giggling. Already ganging up on me >:(

So now we're officially playing the waiting game. David goes back to work tomorrow, and since last Friday he's been super confident that the beans would be here before then. Now he's not so sure...and neither am I in all honesty. So I'll be doing laps around my air conditioned house or bouncing on a yoga ball hoping that contractions or water breaking commences. Fingers crossed something happens sooner than later!!

How far along? 37 weeks 3 days 

Total weight gain: About 38 lbs.  Apparently I'm still supposed to be gaining a pound a week because *shocker* the babies are just packing on pounds still. Which must be the reason literally every morning feels more and more difficult to get roll out of bed.

Maternity clothes?  Yep, and my moment of missing wearing them has passed. There are so many shirts that don't cover my giant belly anymore that getting dressed in the morning is just pretty depressing.
Sleep: I still have bouts of waking up in the middle of the night, but I don't have any shame falling back asleep at 7am and sleeping till like 11am. I'm taking full advantage of the advice "get sleep while you can!"
Best moment this week: David installing the car seats in our new minivan. Yep, we bought a minivan that we actually really love (despite it not having power sliding doors..we're working on rectifying this...). And I loved seeing the two car seats installed in the back, already filling up the extra space. We'll be driving that thing to the hospital a family of 2 and leaving as a family of 4. It's so mind blowing
Miss Anything? You know what I'm going to say. I miss not being pregnant. But I'm doing my best not to dwell on this because I know at any time now I won't be pregnant anymore and I'll miss their baby rolls and kicks. 
But let's be honest, that's the only thing I'll miss haha ;D

Movement: I've been pretty good about "counting" fetal kicks, like I'm supposed to be. It's supposed to be at least 10 an hour but they still are stretching and rolling all the time. Plus if I think "hmm, it's been a while since I've felt anything" I'll sort of poke and prod them till the push back. It's really endearing, actually <3
Food cravings: Nooooothing. I've been sticking with my little nibble plates (i.e. cheese, fruit, salami, crackers, aaaand whatever else we've got in our fridge/pantry) We did go out for sushi yesterday, after our NST appointment, figuring it would be a while till we'd be able to be back. And boy, was it deleeesh.

Anything making you queasy or sick: I have been feeling bouts of nausea, but then I drink some water and I'm ok again. Damn baby, hydration is no joke.
Gender:  Should I finally delete this question? I skip it every time haha 

Labor Signs: Le sigh. Pretty sure I've lost my mucus plug (sorry, readers haha), I'm a bit dilated and pretty effaced. So all the signs are there. Labor, where are thee??
Symptoms: Symptoms? Haha 37 weeks pregnant with twins. And all that comes with that. 

Belly Button in or out? Out
Wedding rings on or off? Off...sapphires fo' life
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy. We are just oh so happy. I realized I should probably get a picture of David and I while I'm still pregnant. He's been such a big part of this pregnancy (I mean...aside from the super obvious you-did-this-to-me angle) in that he's been just as excited about our new little ones as I have. 

Looking forward to: Come on...I'm looking forward to meeting our future doctor/artist/SherlockHolmes/bee-keeper 

36 weeks!

36 weeks!!!! Hooray!! Hopefully this is the last belly/pregnancy update. Although I just have a feeling I'm going to go another week. Maybe it's because I don't feel any different, so labor doesn't feel like it's impending. But who knows! Finding out about these two was a surprise so I'm sure they'll surprise me with their decision of when to come into the world :)

How far along? 36 weeks 4 days 

Total weight gain: Still 36lbs. My appointment this past Friday confirmed, and I weighed myself this morning and yep...still 36. It definitely feels like its all in my belly. If I yell TIMBER...watch out because no joke....I'm 'bout to topple over

Maternity clothes?  Yep, and actually when I was doing laundry yesterday, I got a little sad that soon I won't have to wear my maternity stuff. Isn't that just the dumbest thing ever? Haha this whole time I've been over maternity clothes and now I'm already 'missing' them. So silly 
Sleep: I sleep A LOT. Still sporadic, but if I'm awake for a stretch at night, I'll sleep like 2-3 hours during the day. And any time I've gone out for simple things (like, getting a new Harry Potter book or church...) I get home and pass out
Best moment this week: Finding out that I'm 1 1/2 cm dilated and 80% effaced as of this past Friday!!!! Yay for my body getting ready for labor at the right time! I still haven't been feeling any consistent contractions, or anything particularly strong/painful so I'm hoping I get more dilated/effaced pain free ;) haha 
Oh, and going out to dinner with my in-laws...always nice to do something "social" these days. And stopping by little Willy Woo's 1st birthday party. I can't believe he's already a year old. I'm not liking this whole growing up thing.
Miss Anything? Nope! Just in a constant state of excitement to meet these two little loves!

Movement: Still constant, and they've been getting hiccups all the time, which is annoying haha. When Clare gets them, I feel them on my left side and pretty high up almost in my ribs. When Jack gets them, I feel them suuuper deep. It's really weird. Thank goodness they haven't gotten them at the same time. It would just be ridiculous. 
Food cravings: No, and I've been eating more and more like a bird....little teeny meals all day. 

Anything making you queasy or sick: Nothing new
Gender:  Still our little boy and girl

Labor Signs: Nothing consistent. I keep waiting for my water to suddenly break or to go to the bathroom and see spotting but nothing! Come on babies! 
Symptoms: Nothing new. I feel dumb listing out all the things that are achy...I've got like 12lbs of baby in here. I'm just sore and huge, and all that comes along with that. So this week I've concentrated on pampering myself. There's lots of this late at night: 

Shhhh, don't tell David. I think I'd scare the pants off him ;P

Belly Button in or out? Out/flat.

Wedding rings on or off? Off...sapphires fo' life
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy! And SUPER excited!! I can't wait to meet these two!!! I'm dying to know them outside my body ;)

Looking forward to: I mean...come on. MEETING THESE TWO BEANS! I can't wait to know their personalities and feel their baby skin on mine and just start the parenting adventure with David. 

35 weeks!

Me today (35.3 weeks)

Me at 35 weeks exactly

Alright, I look smaller this week than in last weeks belly photo. And I attribute it to my excellent selfie-taking ability and David's complete lack of girl-picture taking ability. Bless his heart. I mean...I know it looks like I've really got a basketball hidden under my shirt, but I feel like the rest of me still looks pretty normal! (Although I know it isn't. Stretch marks tell no lies...) Plus, the tighter the clothes these days, the better. I hate putting stuff on and feeling like it's tenting out. Pregnancy self-image issues man....they're real.

How far along? 35 weeks 3 days 

Total weight gain: I still think around 36lbs. I don't know, I haven't weighed myself in a couple of days, and I don't have my doctor's appointment until Friday. 

Maternity clothes?  Still yes, and still feeling limited *cue Wicked music* 
Sleep: Still sporadic. Last night the beans were moving SO MUCH to the point where it didn't matter what position I was in, they were rolling around and poking their limbs out to no end. I'm wondering how they'll like swaddling...
Best moment this week: Getting my maternity back support belt! I don't wear it all the time, mostly if I'm up running around (i.e. doing the dishes or getting ready for the day haha) because sitting in it doesn't feel so great. But if I'm up walking/standing, it feels awesome. Not so-amazing-it's-like-I'm-not-even-pregnant-anymore awesome....just better than before it was on.
Miss Anything? I miss being able to snuggle up to David in the morning. I can only scootch (scooch?) over so far until my big belly hits him, and my face is still a million miles away. Plus all the scooching isn't very subtle, and has me breathing all heavy like the mouth-breather I am now so it's not exactly the nice morning cuddles we used to enjoy.
Oh, and on that same note, I miss not snoring. I have to sleep with earplugs because I wake my damn self up :/ Thanks, body, for revolting against these last precious weeks of quiet sleeping time 

Movement: Non-stop, which is good but I've read that if babies stop moving, it means labor is near. So they can have one more week of womb rolling around time and then they better get all Zen and ready for birth!
Food cravings: Nope. Although I've gotten sick of drinking ice water. I've been really good about drinking water all day, partly because that's what everyone tells every pregnant lady to do, but also because it's super hot and I'm in air conditioning like 24/7. It makes for a very dry combo. So I've tried strawberries in my water, which was ok...not really my fave. I stocked up on a bunch of iced tea today, so hopefully that will help.

In a moment of desperation last night, I googled "what is more hydrating than water". Guess what? Nothing. 
Anything making you queasy or sick: No, I'm more in the aches and pains stage, I think. I don't know which one is better. 
Wait, yes I do. The queasiness is better. Because I can avoid foods/drinks/whatever. I can't do anything about this pain.
Gender:  Still our little boy and girl

Labor Signs: Nope
Symptoms: All the aches, everywhere. I'm pretty much done with being pregnant....but still not feeling ready for babies? Ha! 

Belly Button in or out? Out/flat.
Wedding rings on or off? Off...sapphires fo' life
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy! Our little co-sleeper was set up this past weekend, which ended up being a lot more complicated than it looked (so I'm glad we did it early!) and I love seeing it set up next to our bed. I try to picture our two little ones in there, and get all gooey and excited. But then I picture two crying little ones in there, and feel panicked haha

Looking forward to: Going out to dinner tonight with David's brother and wife! It feels like forever since I've done anything social, so it should be a good time :) I'm even going to wash my hair for the occasion! Dry shampoo can only go so far ;)

34 weeks!

This is me feeling super heavy, with unwashed hair (thanks, hat!)  and totally sleep deprived. 
With twins, in summer. Le woof.

The good news first: at our ultrasound this week (hopefully the last one! I'm over them...the babies are too big to really see anything good and laying on my back for long periods of time suuuuuuucks) Jack weighed in at 5lbs 4oz and Clare is 5lbs 5oz! They're still so close in weight, and their heads are snuggled all close together still :)

But that means there is a 10lb 9oz 'baby' in me. Plus 2 placentas. Plus all the friggin blood pumping around (which reminds me...David grabbed for my hand the other day and was shocked at how warm it was. He asked why my hands, which are usually freezing, were so hot. I had to remind him that I've got two extra people that my body is pumping blood for, and it's kicking into high gear right now haha) 

So yes, it's finally come that time when I feel huge and horrible and heavy. But hearing how great our babes are growing, it definitely makes it worth it. It doesn't make it easier, or make me love feeling all large and gross, but it's nice knowing I've got two little beans in there that are getting chubby. Our doc was super excited at how their weight gain is right on track, and is very optimistic that they won't need any nicu time *high five babes!*

How far along? 34 weeks 4 days 

Total weight gain: 36lbs. Still gaining weight! 3 pounds in 1 week? Lawrd. 

Maternity clothes?  Yep and nothing new or exciting in this department. 
Sleep: It comes and goes. Some nights I get awesome sleep, with the exception of bathroom breaks, and other nights I'm up all night and no matter what I do, I'm just awake.
Best moment this week: Let's see...I'm not sure! I guess knowing that the babes are still growing and my body isn't ready for labor yet. It's nothing new, but it's still awesome. Nothing else is really occupying my time or thoughts anymore, so I guess that will do :)
Miss Anything? Not having heartburn.

Movement: Constantly. This week I've really tried to enjoy it since I know we're getting close to where I won't be able to feel them this way ever again
Food cravings: Nope
Anything making you queasy or sick: Not this week, but I've been good about not doing much
Gender:  Still our little boy and girl

Labor Signs: Random BH contractions but nothing serious
Symptoms: This week oh man, the back pain. Lower back pain is in full force. Which, considering, I'm very lucky I'm just starting to get bad back pain. My doc told me to get a belly support band, since I'm so heavy in front. I also borrowed a big bouncy yoga ball from my folks, because apparently sitting/rocking on it helps relieve back pain/hip pain. Which is awesome, since the hip pain has continued :/

Oh and heartburn. sooooooo much heartburn.
Belly Button in or out? Out/flat.
Wedding rings on or off? Still wearing my sapphire ring. The other day I tried to put on my engagement ring and boy, it is so small. Pleeeeese let this be swelling and not just my hands getting permanently chubby
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy! We're about as ready as we can be for these two! I told David that they could come any time now, and definitely *hopefully* in two weeks. I think it hit him then that we're having kids....haha he got real quiet and seemed pretty focused. Not like I'm more 'ready' than he is, but I've been pregnant this whole damn time, and he hasn't. Poor guy...it's like BOOM. Babies. ;)

Looking forward to: Buying our sweet new minivan haha no, but I'm pretty excited about it

33 weeks!

OKAY....feeling large today. Like, larger than I did yesterday. I'm hoping this means the babes are growing lots and lots, and it's not me growing lots and lots. I feel like the difference between two weeks ago and this week is huge. 

Comparison time: 31 weeks vs 33 weeks. I think it looks like a big difference!
Those beans better weigh like 5 pounds each! (I go for another u/s next week, so I'll confirm then ;)
p.s. look how tan I look in 31 weeks! Yay for after editing! haha

How far along? 33 weeks 3 days 

Total weight gain: 33 lbs. Thinkin' I'll hit my 40 pound goal. Although now I officially weigh more than my hubby. Which shouldn't matter, and he's a short guy anyway but it still bugs me a bit. Darn you, vanity!

Maternity clothes?  Some maternity clothes don't fit my giant belly anymore WAH! Well, it's really just the shirts but it still bums me out. I already have a very limited wardrobe and now it's even MORE limited :'( Oh, but the other day I did wear a non-maternity dress and felt great in it! 

Ta-da! So I still have some cute days. And red lipstick days.
Those will probably end when the beans come since I'll be smooching those kids all day

Sleep: Sleep is good....still difficult to get in a comfortable position, without my hips killing me or where the babies aren't bumpin' around like crazy. And this: I've started snoring....anyone who knows me knows I'm a super light sleeper and snoring is like, the worst thing in the world. So now I've been waking my own self up with my own snoring. David just dies laughing, especially when I fall asleep before him because I'll give one good snort, instantly wake up and look grumpy. And there's no one to blame but myself  >:( Well, I guess I could blame it on the two little things taking over my lung space but I can't really get mad at them
Best moment this week: Seeing the nursery come together :D and getting my hospital bag gift from my mom. It's stocked with comfy sleep things, a cute towel, clothes and flip flops for David, and other essentials :)
Miss Anything? I feel like a broken record to say 'I miss not being ginormous' but I do. I still miss it.

Movement: Constantly! My doc told me to pay attention to fetal movement now, since a lack can indicate labor kicking off, or something going wrong....I don't know. It basically means I need to go into L&D. I almost started to laugh because my belly is no joke, constantly moving. But the other morning, I woke up totally spread eagle on my back. And I'm definitely not supposed to sleep on my back anymore (something about oxygen getting cut off to the babes? Or my arteries getting smooshed? Again..IDK..bad things happen!) And I notice that my belly isn't moving!! BAAAH! I get up, start poking them and chatting them up, and instantly little kicks and rolls commence :) Those little tricksters already making me freak out for no reason
Food cravings: Bubble gum ice cream. I could eat that shit all.day.long. Oh, and I woke up the other morning, at like 5am and NEEDED food. Usually I'll wake up around that time and will eat some dry cereal, or cereal with milk..something really mellow to tide me over. But this morning I wanted like a full-on meal. I was bitter that David wasn't working late so I could call him and tell him to pick up some Carl's Jr haha. I ended up eating the last can of Spaghetti O's (from my 1st trimester days when all I'd want is little kid food). It was heaven.
Anything making you queasy or sick: No, nothing making me sick.
Gender:  Still our little boy and girl

Labor Signs: Negative! I've been trying to be even better about sitting and resting after doing little tasks though.
Symptoms: Still fighting heartburn, and major achy body especially at the end of the day. I did full on pulled a muscle in my arm the other day from moving crap around in my downstairs office/kids-play-space. I was reorganizing stuff all day, thinking I wasn't over-exerting myself, but by the evening my left arm was KILLING me. And I realized I friggin pulled something, because 2 days later it didn't hurt like it did. I'm blaming this one on that stupid ligament relaxing hormone again.
Belly Button in or out? Out, but still not like a little ball. It's actually cute and I like it because now it doesn't look like I just have a mondo gapping hole in my stomach.
Wedding rings on or off? Still wearing my sapphire ring. 
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy! And nervous. These two could technically come any day now, and it's got me a bit on edge.

Looking forward to: Getting our house professionally cleaned! We've got one more little task to complete before I can have her over, but hopefully in the next two weeks, it'll happen :D

32 weeks!

We're getting the nursery up and running! It's still not done, but the cribs are up, with their little mattresses and sheets all good to go (although I cant figure out the bumper things...how the heck do they tie on?!) and their "dresser"/changing table is all organized with its many bins and baskets full of diapers and clothes :) I just need to get around to hanging everything on the walls, and we'll be good to go! Well...and get a few other extras....

Also, had an ultrasound a few days ago, and found out that Clare is weighing in at 3lbs 13oz and Jack is a solid 4lbs!!! Yay Jack for surpassing his little sister! He's still Baby A, so I feel much better that he's bigger in case Clare flips back to breech. She's still head down (and will hopefully stay that way!!) but just in case, I'm incredibly relieved that they're doing exactly what they're supposed to right now...packing on pounds and staying head down :)

How far along? 32 weeks 2 days 

Total weight gain: 31 lbs. Good job, body!

Maternity clothes?  I haven't been able to wear any regular clothes for a while, and now I have a few maternity tops that are no longer long enough for my giant belly (again why I love the Motherhood Maternity t-shirts..they are so long and slimming!)
Sleep: I feel like I sleep all the time but again, never wake up feeling like I have. I've got permanent under eye circles that no amount of concealer can conceal WAH
Best moment this week: Knowing my babes weigh 4 pounds (or almost 4 pounds hehe). That's like....real baby weight. Oh, and finding GIANT water cups that look like mason jars, except they've got handles and a straw. They're already so handy and will be for sure when I start breastfeeding
Miss Anything? Eating a full meal and not feeling sick. I just want to go out to dinner, and finish what I order.

Movement: Yes, tons per usual but they haven't been as painful as of late. I think because I've been better about eating really small meals, there's more room? I don't know. Oh, and I have been feeling lots more deep movement, like right on my bladder that makes me nervous I'm gonna straight pee my pants! It's weird and I'm wondering if it's because their giant, heavy heads are both down there now (not that I'm complaining!! Stay there, both of you!)
Food cravings: Nope
Anything making you queasy or sick: Doing too much, per usual
Gender:  Still our little boy and girl

Labor Signs: Not that I know of! Sounds weird, but I figure as long as there's no spotting, sudden swelling, or racing heartbeat, I'm fine. I've no idea what contractions feel like so I don't know if I can go off of that.
Symptoms: All the same...heartburn, joint pain everywhere, exhaustion. I should just call it 'hungover' and be done with it
Belly Button in or out? Ok, it's out...kind of. Not like I've seen on other preggos, but it's more out than in these days
Wedding rings on or off? Still wearing my sapphire ring. 
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy! We've gotten a lot done around our house, and had a full week of hanging out with our family and some friends. Good times :)

Looking forward to: Summer being over ahaha! No, but....really.

31 weeks!

This dress is from ASOS maternity and is seriously the softest ever.
I've been saving wearing it for when I feel giant and hot in whatever I put on.
ASOS for the win!

So we are slowly putting stuff together this week...cribs, strollers (both of them...), car seats, diaper changing stations and I look at all the stuff, especially the stuff we have two of and think "ok...babies. Babies will be here soon and they will be ours." I legitimately have to keep reminding myself we're going to be parents in less than 2 months...next month!! Not like I forget...I'm just trying to get it to 'sink in'.

Before I got pregnant, and well into my pregnancy, I remember thinking how lucky I am that I get 9 months to "get used to" the idea of being a mom. I've got 9 months of prep time--so long! I'll get to know my baby so well in the womb, that I'll be so prepared when the time comes to deliver and taking care of them will be just, like, whatevs. 

HA, um no. I'm almost 8 months baked, and every day I wake up thinking about all the stuff I don't know how to do that seems like all the basics for infant survival....I don't know how to change a diaper. I don't know how to put clothes on a newborn (what if I'm putting a onesie on them and I hit their soft spot!?) I don't know when they should eat. I don't know how much they should sleep. How warm should they be? When do I bathe them? When does their gross umbilical cord fall off? OMG those umbilical cords are so gross..what if I can't even look at it!? 

It's really intimidating. And I'm supposed to be responsible for all this times TWO?! What was God thinking?!!?

But then I remind myself that what's essential in a mother isn't all the things she does, like changing and feeding and bathing. Anyone can do that (and hopefully David will do a lot of it haha) Love is what's essential in a mother. And I know I can love them. I know that I am capable of great love, and that these 9 months is what that is for. Growing my heart so that when these two kids come into the world, I'll know they're mine and I'll know what to do as their mother :) 

How far along? 31 weeks 2 days 

Total weight gain: still about 28 lbs. But I haven't weighed myself in a couple days, aaaand I don't feel like walking all the way upstairs to do it. Plus, David has been monitoring my up and down the stairs movement and scolds me if I do it too often. Apparently, I get like 2 trips before he starts giving me the stink eye. Isn't he just the cutest ;)

Maternity clothes?  Yep. Love and hate them. 
Sleep: I've been getting lots of sleep, yay! I just read this little fact (on instagram, so who knows how reliable it is. But whatever, it validates my exhaustion) that women pregnant with twins spend 10% more energy at rest than a pregnant woman with 1 baby. So yeah, totally normal to feel exhausted after making dinner.
Best moment this week: Seeing David build the cribs. I've been waiting for the cribs to be built for what feels like forever, and seeing my sweet hubby put together the [giant!] vessels our new little lives will sleep in was such a nice moment. Every day I am grateful for the amazing husband he is, and lately I'm saying little prayers of thanks for the awesome father I know he'll be :)
Miss Anything? The freedom to go out and do what I want. David has a bunch of days off this week, and he mentioned we should go on an adventure. Yay! But then I start thinking....ok, I don't want to be in the car for hours--that's torture. Sitting through a whole movie is uncomfortable. Walking for any length of time is uncomfortable. What's left to do??? Not much :/ 
(I decided on a picnic at the Getty. Minimal driving and walking time, plus food!)

Movement: Those kids are active little buggers, which is great, BUT their kicks and rolls are really starting to hurt. This is going to sound dumb, but I always think of Twilight when Bella gets preggo with her half vampire baby and it's attacking her from the inside out. Every time I lift up my shirt, I expect to see bruises. Or brass knuckles poking through my skin. 
Food cravings: Nothing since the cheeto/pickle incident of last week. I'm having a harder time eating full meals, which I attribute to obviously the general lack of space in my stomach area and it being so damn hot.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope
Gender:  Still our little boy and girl

Labor Signs: Nothing new! Still BH contractions when I'm up and about for "long" periods of time.
Symptoms: Joint pain....I hate thee.
Belly Button in or out? It's flat. I can barely remember what my belly button looked like before
Wedding rings on or off? Still wearing my sapphire ring. 
Happy or Moody most of the time: This week happy again :) 

Looking forward to: Our date to the Getty and getting our house professionally cleaned

30 weeks!

I'm such a brat this week. I had my sweet mom take a bump pic for me.
But I didn't like them (not because of the quality, Mom!) but because I was just having an
'I-feel-ugly-no-matter-what-I-wear' day.
So here's a sad selfie one (that I still like better haha)

OKAY big news this week...druuuuuum roooolllll.....Clare FLIPPED! Both my little beans are now head down. Good job, babies!! I'm having my first moment as a proud parent ;) Now I just pray there is NO more room for anyone to do any flipping, and they stay like this for another 7 or so weeks. 

So that was the best news that we got from this week's appointment. My mom (who came with me this time...so nice!) said she was surprised I didn't start doing a jig right there on the table haha 

I also mentioned to my doc that I've been having those braxton hicks-type belly feelings (i.e. some invisible little fairy inflates my belly till it feels like it's going to pop) so she measured my cervix again to make sure I wasn't going into preterm labor. This made me secretly super happy because I wanted to make sure my body wasn't getting all confused by the 6 pounds of baby in there and start kicking things into gear. It's not confused. This body clearly knows what's up...I've still got 4+ inches of cervix, yeaaauuh! She even commented that it's more than some singleton pregnancies she's seen (yup...singleton. Never thought I'd get used to using that word ha)

To top off a great week, we're going in for a 3D ultrasound tomorrow morning. I'm sure I'll be posting pics/video of that soon ;)

How far along? 30 weeks 5 days (oops kind of late this week)

Total weight gain: still 28 lbs. Looks like weight gain is slowing down...

Maternity clothes?  Oh yeah. I've grown out of a couple of shirts (Old Navy maternity is only good if you are a very small pregnant lady, I've decided) and shocker, I'm getting really tired of having such a limited wardrobe. Oh, on the plus side, we finally got a new key to our pool which means I can go get a bathing suit! Yay for something new!
Sleep: I've been napping a lot more. Almost as much as my first trimester. And I've been up less at night. So I've been getting lots of sleep, but oddly I never really wake up feeling refreshed. So that's fun
Best moment this week: See above ;) head down babes, long cervix, low BP, etc. etc.
Miss Anything? Being comfortable. I've realized I'm at that stage I've heard so much about where it doesn't matter what position I'm in, I'm not comfortable.

Movement: Constant. They're kicking right now, ha! I've sort of been hating it this week, because it's gotten so uncomfortable, and I feel like no matter which side I lay on (since I can't lay on my back or stomach, obvs) I'm squishing one of them. I'm hoping that all the crazy movement I've been feeling this week was Clare flipping and that they'll mellow out. But I doubt it, haha. I'm trying to remind myself how special this time is--how I'm the only one who gets to experience these two like this, that this time is so fleeting, and I'll be missing this when they start getting older. 
Food cravings: Cravings are real. I found myself eating half a bag of baked cheetos and endless amounts of pickles the other day. Just those two things. I credit that to be the one totally wacky craving I've had this whole time (I maintain that wanting cheeseburgers all the time is totally normal and has nothing to do with being preggo)
Anything making you queasy or sick: Nausea has returned! Hello old friend. If I eat too much at once, which basically means a normal-sized meal, I feel pretty nauseated. 
Gender:  Still our little boy and girl

Labor Signs: A confirmed NO for this week ;D
Symptoms: Joint pain has spread from my hips and back to my legs, ankles, hands and fingers. To the point where gripping something really hurts. I'm gonna remain Positive Polly and credit it to my body being awesome, making tons of that joint-relaxing hormone in preparation for twin birth
Belly Button in or out? In? I don't know. It's not poking out so I'm maintaining IN
Wedding rings on or off? Off. WAH! I had a backup ring all ready....the sapphire ring my mom gave me on my wedding day (the one I wanted ever since I was a tiny little girl) They still 'fit' but by the end of the day, it's a struggle to get them off. So I've just given up on them.
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy! Still get down on myself for not having enough energy to do simple tasks throughout the day, but the majority is happy 

Looking forward to: Our 3D ultrasound tomorrow, getting the cribs set up (finally!) and getting the nursery finished!

29 Week Bump!

2 posts in 1 day? Better believe it!! I didn't want to slack on my belly posts since I figured these last couple months will really show a difference! I mean...will you look at that basketball I've got going on?! The two little munchkins in there are really growing now. Oh, which reminds me! When we were picking up the cake for our shower, a woman in front of us in line noticed it was a cake for twins (it said Twice Blessed and had two little baby carriages on it. Totes adorbs). She gave me SUCH a pitying look, asked how far along I was, and proceeded to lament at the fact that now is the time the babies will just grow and grow and grow. Suggesting that in turn, I will grow and grow and grow. I smiled huge and said "I hope so!"

I haven't had pity comments in a long time....I more often get told how tiny I look for being 7 months along with twins (always makes me feel a bit better haha) But I think that has to do with my small frame more than anything. The scale doesn't lie! Haha

How far along? 29 weeks 3 days

Total weight gain: 28 lbs. Not much of a difference between this week and last, although the weight gain is supposed to slow down now. I think I'm still supposed to gain about a pound a week, and if that's true, I'll make it (or get damn close) to my 40lb goal. The babes should double in weight over the next couple months, so that alone will pack on pounds!

Maternity clothes?  Yep, although I'm loving dresses and leggings more and more, rather than maternity pants. Even when it's not really hot outside, I seem to always want my body to be as least constricted as possible.
Sleep: Some nights are good, where I'll fall asleep around 10pm, wake up around 2am to pee, and fall [almost] immediately back to sleep until like 730am. But some nights are bad where I'll still fall asleep around 10-11pm, wake up at 2am and stay awake until 6am. I'll usually fall back asleep till like 830-9am but it's not the most restful. If I could just turn my brain off and have just a little extra space in my bladder, things would be so much better ;)
Best moment this week: So many!! Finding out the beans are growing right on schedule--Clare, my little chunk is 2lbs 13oz and Jack is 2lbs 9oz (although the tech did say Jack is probably closer to Clare's weight, since she had a hard time measuring him. He's suuuper low and apparently that caused some difficulty.) And of course our lovely shower. Surrounded by so many loved ones was just the best
Miss Anything? My back not perpetually hurting. I'm thinking that going on the inversion table to help Clare flip might also help some of my lower back pain (since I think that's what it's for anyway). Crossing the fingers!

Movement: Still constant with some really hard kicks. Little soccer stars in there!
Food cravings: I wanted Taco Bell last night, but I've always loved Taco Bell. It's a guilty pleasure. I didn't run out and get any though, so I don't think it really counts.
Anything making you queasy or sick: Nope, although getting up or standing up for too long is again making me feel dizzy. Such a bummer.
Gender:  Still our little boy and girl

Labor Signs: Nope
Symptoms: Hip pain started this week, which is awesome and makes sleeping that much more difficult. I'm only comfortable sleeping on my side, so I'll wake up with my hips in such horrible pain. Luckily, it's not so bad during the day, but it's making me dread sleeping at night. That, on top of my raging heartburn and sore back makes nighttime in general my least fave.
Belly Button in or out? In, but I can tell it's on its way out. The top of it is starting to poke out a bit.
Wedding rings on or off? On, but only my diamond band most of the time. I'll throw on my engagement ring if we're going out, but I know it's a bit too tight. Even my band is pretty difficult to get off
Happy or Moody most of the time: I've been a bit moody this week, I'm not gonna lie. The stress of last minute shower things, hearing about birth options, and just feeling more and more achy and heavy in general has not made me the most pleasant. I still try to tell David how much I love and appreciate him but I know I've snapped a few times this week. 

Looking forward to: Getting the cribs set up in the nursery!! David's parents got them for us, and I cannot wait to see them in there!!! 

28 weeks!

Hello, 28 weeks!!!! I just read that viability jumps up this week to 90%. That is AWESOME and is giving me such a peace of mind. I feel so grateful that I've made it into my third trimester with no complications with myself or the babes. Saying additional prayers that this continues for 10 more weeks!

This week has been full of catching up with folks we haven't seen in a while, planning our giant coed shower, and doing random crafty things for the beans' room. I had David take the sliding mirrors off the closet and hang up some really cute teal embroidered curtains. Much easier access to all the goodies we'll be storing in the closet, and I'm sure I won't want full length mirrors in that room anyway. This mom doesn't need reminding how tired she looks ;) I'm thinking after our shower, I'll be in full on 'get-the-nursery-ready' mode. David will be so THRILLED hehe

How far along? 28 weeks 3 days

Total weight gain: Still about 27 pounds. Maybe 28? I'm not too sure

Maternity clothes?  Yep, and I got the best dresses for a baptism we had this weekend for our Godson and one for our shower. The pictures don't really make them look that cute, but I promise they are. And they are SUPER comfy, but still hug in all the right places. 
They're both Motherhood Maternity, which I've decided is my favorite maternity brand. Both these dresses are amaze-balls, and I've got a couple of t-shirts from them that somehow manage to make me look slimmer. Win. 

this is the one I got for the shower 

and this one for the baptism

Sleep: I have good days and bad. I've been waking up more needing the bathroom, or with heartburn despite taking an antacid. But I had the best nap the other day after running errands, so it sort of makes up for some sleepless nights.
Best moment this week: Hanging out with friends we haven't seen in a while. Because everyone (including us) is so busy, it's inevitable that we can go weeks (sometimes months) without seeing friends. Lucky for us, it doesn't matter how long has gone by...we always have a good time :)
Oh, and my sister-in-law giving me a big bag of newborn BOY clothes for poor little Jack, who is seriously being neglected in the clothes department. Sorry bud, but girls like clothes more anyway 
Miss Anything? Getting out of bed/car/etc easily. Yep, missing that.

Movement: Constantly, and I'm getting strong kicks now. Ladies, you were not kidding about that 'karate kicking' thing.
Food cravings: Cake! Still cake. I had David flip a u-turn to stop at 7-11 so I could get some hostess cupcakes. It was a desperate moment I'm not too proud of
Anything making you queasy or sick: Still heartburn. Not drinking enough water will make me lightheaded, but I live in California and it's summer. Anyone would be feeling that way, I think.
Gender:  Still our little boy and girl

Labor Signs: Nope! Stay cookin' little loves!
Symptoms: Nothing new. Still large and in charge. 
Belly Button in or out? Still in!
Wedding rings on or off? On
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy. Even with those crazy strong baby kicks, I think "Good. Get nice and strong and FAT so we can snuggle you right when you make your big entrance!"

Looking forward to: Seeing all of most of our loved ones Saturday for our shower

27 week bump!

So this isn't a full-body shot, but it was my favorite from the ones David took.
I think you can still tell how gigantic my belly got in the last couple of weeks.
I feel like it grew SO MUCH from before we left.
It's blowing my mind what my body is capable of

We are back from our babymoon adventure, and LAWD almighty, it feels good to be home. 10 days of travel is enough to wipe me out anyway, but add 7 months of pregnancy onto that and my pooped-ness is a sure thing. I am really proud of myself though, for not only making it through the 10 days in Georgia and New York, but also for enjoying my time with my family, my hubby, and all that GA and NY had to offer. 

We had a check up today, and both babes are still totally fine (as am I), so looks like a bit of travel really doesn't hurt anybody! Oh, speaking of our checkup today, we had a different doctor than our lovely Dr. Fung and man alive, she was not my favorite. She started telling me all these horror stories of trying to vaginally deliver a breech Baby B. Everything she said was very rushed and in my face, to the point where I left feeling so panicked and anxious, despite the fact that once again, the babes and myself are perfectly healthy. 

David and I learned today how much we love our doctor, and appreciate how calm and mellow she is. I'd be much more of a mess if every time I went in for a check up, I heard stories of various other patients. It's bad enough I Google everything!

How far along? 27 weeks 3 days

Total weight gain: 27 lbs. Apparently I'm doing great with my weight gain, and could stand to gain more (according to Dr. Crazy Pants.) I'm gonna stick with the I'm-gaining-enough and not worry about it. People always say 'trust your body', and I'm realizing that is all too true.

Maternity clothes?  I feel like just deleting this question. Of course. Although it reminds me, Dr. Crazy Pants measured my belly today (something our normal doc has never done) and I'm measuring 32 weeks. Whaaaaaaat I mean...I guess it's to be expected since there are two babies in there but it still shocked me all the same.
Sleep: I slept great on our trip, despite the southern humidity. I think it was because we were so busy in GA for D's wedding, and we walked all the time in NYC. I was really diligent about taking Pepcid before bed each night, and was still up a couple times to use the bathroom, but for the most part, good sleep.
Best moment this week: Coming home, and doing absolutely nothing for a whole day. David was downstairs and I was upstairs. 10 days together and we need a break ;)
Miss Anything? I can't really think of anything. I want to say 'not feeling huge' but I'm about to go grab a scoop of ice cream, so I can't complain too much haha

Movement: All day and all night. But now I'm getting some freaky pushy-outy movements. Not just tummy rumbles. Stuff pokes out and then melts back in. It is so creepy and it makes me laugh every time. 
Food cravings: Omg, the last couple of days all I want to do is eat sweets. I would kill for cake right now. Or brownies. But like, a lot of brownies. I bought some Jell-o pudding cups to hopefully curb this crazy sweet tooth.
Anything making you queasy or sick: No. Still just heartburn like crazy. Tums Smoothies? You are delish. And I want to eat tons of you.
Gender:  Still our little boy and girl

Labor Signs: No, although I think I've been feeling Braxton Hicks contractions? I really don't know. I only say this because sometimes by belly gets really tight, hard, and heavy and I don't exactly feel crampy, but it's similar. 
Symptoms: Super big belly, I'm finally noticing my hair/nails growing like mad, aaaaaaand heartburn. No swelling yet, thank goodness! 
Belly Button in or out? I maintain that it's in still, although David yesterday said it's totally disappeared haha. (he's wrong)
Wedding rings on or off? On. Still don't want to give them up!
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy. But I did almost cry yesterday when David went to pick up pizza for him and a salad for me, and I thought he forgot my salad. I was really almost in tears. Oh, hello hormones. I was wondering where you've been. 

Oh, and today I did freak out about labor. I mean...LABOR, HELLOOO. Scary shit, y'all. I like being very organized and always having a plan and I know that's just not going to be the case. 
Looking forward to: Our baby shower in a couple of weeks!