9 Days Postpartum

Here they are!!!! Well, they've been here for 9 days, but here's a picture ;) OMG I could just stare at them all day. Oh wait, I totally do

We just got out of our 2nd Great Starts appointment, where the babes get weighed and I nurse them to find out how much milk they're getting. The last one didn't go so well...we had trouble latching and some of us [ahem...Mr. Jack] just wanted to sleep. The nurse told us we should supplement another 1.5-2oz of milk every time they ate. The Supplemental Nursing System [SNS] which was great in the hospital when I was feeling really discouraged about them loosing too much when breastfeeding had become super burdensome at home. The beans would get all confused by the little tube, which made latching that much more difficult. So David and I decided to not supplement at every sesh, and just trust that my body was providing what they needed. 
And low and behold today's appointment PROVES that old adage of 'mom knows best' because both Clare and Jack ate a whopping 2.5 oz in like 15 mins. Jack has surpassed his birth weight and is now 6lbs! And Clare is already 5lbs 9oz. They haven't lost at all since leaving the hospital, so to any future moms out there, twin or otherwise, seriously...home is the best. The babies will know it.
Anyway, the nurses were super shocked that they ate that much since last time was such a letdown. They called them "star nursers" and said that we were doing everything right. My heart was BURSTING! Thank goodness after lots of nights, days, hours of frustration and exhaustion, we were validated in our champion eaters.  The nurses went on to say that David and I seem so calm and such a great team with these two...that usually twin parents are running around all frantic. I know he and I have been trying to maintain high levels of gratitude and grace, and apparently it shows. 
All in all, it was an awesome visit where not only were our perfect babes praised and praised but David and I were too. Which is needed. I needed it.

Change of subject: me! I can't believe how much weight I've dropped already. I mentioned in my last post its around 25lbs. Here's a pic to show what I look like a little over a week postpartum. Isn't it amazing?! I was HUGE before. I've still got a jiggly little belly, but who cares!? I can see my hips again! And my waist! [This picture doesn't show just how disproportionate my boobs are to the rest of me though. I've got to be at least a D right now. No lie. I was up to a C pregnant, and they have seriously doubled. Wait..was that just a twin pun? :P]
I really never realized that a lot of my body was pretty swollen. I shaved my legs this morning [hallelujah for that becoming a jillion times easier again!] and thought "holy cow, my legs are SO tiny!" I hadn't realized that they had swollen up during my pregnancy. 
When people tell you nursing burns calories and gets your body back to shape, they ain't lyin'!

   

Jack and Clare make their grand debut!

The beans arrived! Monday 8/18/2014 at 10:48 am Jack Thomas made his way into the world and at 11:15 his little sister Clare came. I know I'll post a labor and delivery post because truly, it was such an amazing day that I never want to forget (even though I'm already forgetting stuff...I had to ask David [again] what their birth times were hehe). It was mostly uneventful, apart from a blood transfusion for me (I lost a lot of blood during labor, turns out...) everything went better than I could have ever dreamed of :) How blessed are we!?

They're already a week old...8 days actually and it has been such a crazy roller coaster 8 days. Here's some things I've jotted down on my phone (which is now officially attached to my hip since that's where I track all their daily deets) about them, me, David, adjusting to this new, beautiful life.

Things about being home with our twins

-Pump right after feeding both and eat a lot of snacks/drink tons of H2O. It seemed horrible at first to pump after feeding two babes, but if I waited an hour to eat and let my boobs have a break, the milk would get backed up and I'd end up even more sore and heavy.
-8 days postpartum and I'm down 25lbs. It's blowing my mind at how incredible women's bodies are.
-David is an amazing partner and daddy. I've never seen him more grateful, more spiritually present, more in love than when he's got a babe in his arms
-A hands free pumping bra is more than a necessity. It changed how I felt about pumping. Not that I love it now, but it's turned into 20 mins of tv watching, snack eating, instagramming, resting time every 4 hours or so. Way nicer than having to hold up two pumps to my boobs for 20 mins. SO boring.
-Jack and Clare are two different people so one might (and probably will) eat more or goo more in one day than the other. And that's totally normal. Don't freak out.
-I'm learning to trust our instincts as parents and not get too wrapped up in what everyone tells you twins should be doing (i.e. eating every 3 hours, gooing every 5 hours, etc.) All those statistics makes me doubt how well we are all doing. My mom's coworker, a postpartum nurse, told her to tell me (hehe) that as long as they're eating and pooping...they're fine. So I've [mostly] stopped worrying. Because a happy momma means happy calm babies. Truly.
-The Total Baby app has been a lifesaver for keeping track of when one ate for how long on which boob, for a pumping log, and for diaper changes. I'm sure it'll be just as handy when I need to start keeping track of naps. It does all the stupid recording for me with just a couple pushes of buttons. Thanks, technology! 
-Breastfeeding is very hard and frustrating and painful. I've never felt more defeated by something and more determined to keep at something in my entire life. It really has gotten easier [and continues to get easier every time] and every time they latch on great, eat till they pass out on me all limp and vulnerable, I'm blown away at how accomplished I feel and how proud I am of these two little people. I will also say this...BF is such a huge challenge and although I've had great support from lactation consultants and even more amazing (really beyond what I could have ever expected of him) support and love from David, it has at times felt so lonely. No one else can do this job. Which I know is such a blessing, but at the worst of times feels like such a burden. I keep reminding myself to keep on keepin' on....these babies are loving you for it.
-No matter what kind of night we had or how much sleep I didn't get, I wake up so excited to see them again.


Things about Jack and Clare [their first week]

-Jack has a dimple on his right cheek and Clare has dimples on both sides
-Clare makes grunting noises which turn into super loud cries when she wants something. We started calling her our monster baby when we were still in the hospital :)
-Jack makes tiny mewing noises when he isn't getting enough attention. He's our sensitive little guy, and we've called him our little lamb since hospital.
-When Clare nurses, she attacks my breast, hence her other nickname, Shark Baby. Jack is more mellow and will mostly mew loudly if he can't latch properly.
-Both love falling asleep in daddy's arms
-Jack loves being burped by daddy
-Clare loves getting goo on daddy
-Both like being swaddled, as long as they can have an arm or two out


That's it for now! Clare is hungry! <3 Pics soon

38 weeks! :O

I'm going to be bad this week and not bother with a belly shot or the standard weekly questions. Because I feel like crap and I just can't believe I'm still preggo. I remember thinking in my early weeks how great it would be to make it to 38 weeks. But let me be the first to admit that I've been 'done' being pregnant for the last week, and hated being pregnant these last few days. 

It sounds so awful to say that, but I went into this blogging journey to be honest with how things are going and how I'm feeling. So not holding back....I've absolutely hated being pregnant these last few days. I've gotten no sleep (while everyone keeps spouting to me 'oh enjoy sleep while you can!' psh), my belly has gotten so heavy that the pressure on my hips and legs is unreal, I get bouts of nausea and I can't figure out why and to top it all off, I can't take baths anymore because apparently that's too relaxing and it might slow/stop labor. WAH!

Everyone, David and myself especially, is just on edge waiting for Jack and Clare's big arrival, which doesn't make all these "early stages of labor" things any easier.

For the past couple of days, I just hurt all over. That's about the only consistent thing. And that's the thing I'm learning about going into labor....things need to be consistent for it to be the real deal. Which is irritating because the only thing I can say with absolute certainty is that I've been consistently miserable the past few days. 

I look up the difference between false labor and active labor and I fit into both categories. A big difference is where you feel contraction pain. Does it start in your lower abdomen? That's false labor. Active labor contractions start in your back and work their way forwards. But anyone will tell you that contractions feel like horrible menstrual cramping. Which for me did not happen in my back. So that's confusing. 

Plus my back is pretty much in a state of pain all the damn time now because I've got so much friggin weight in my front. What's a girl to do? Not go to the hospital, that's what >:(

I really thought, in my 1st time mom naïveté, that one day I'd wake up and be all like "IT IS TIME", and go to the hospital and that's where all the pain, nerves, and waiting would kick in.

Nope, it happens at home. Which again,  I've heard so many stories of women telling me "yeah I waited at home, just working through my contractions" like they were so confident that they were feeling contractions. They knew they were in labor and their motherly instincts told them to stay at home, that their little bundle of joy wasn't ready yet.
How come I'm not sure!? What's wrong with my motherly instincts?! Maybe this isn't the real deal! But it should be, this is their due date time!

Le sigh. So much ranting. I know I should be focusing on mellowing out but this has truly been the hardest part of being pregnant. And I just didn't expect it to be, for some reason.

I will admit it's been super cute how David has kicked into 'Dad Mode' this past week. One night he sat me down and wanted to go through every possible 'Jennica is going into labor' scenario, and advise him on what he should do. He's constantly checking in on me, talking to my belly telling the kids how excited he is to meet them. He likes being in control of the situation, and this is definitely one of those times that he just can't be. 

I didn't realize that as much as a horrible waiting game this is for me, it's just as bad (ok...nearly as bad haha) for him. He has to go to work and wait for my call, which I know makes him uncomfortable. 

At least I know that I don't know what's going on with my body. But he has to ask me what the status is, and every time I get weepy, trying to explain the pain I'm feeling, I know he feels pretty helpless. Which again, I thought we'd be going through at the hospital...not for days and days at home. 

So I guess this is my [pretty depressing] update. 
I'm 38 weeks today. 
I'm not sure if I'm in labor. 
I really want to be. 

37 weeks and counting?

Fun fact: I used to wear this "shirt" as a dress :O

37 weeks. It's amazing the babes and I have made it this far. The majority of twin pregnancies start labor around 36 weeks, so we're already ahead of the curve! Although I think this statistic is a bit skewed because I know if the two are sharing a placenta/amniotic sac, they come earlier. As opposed to my baby beans who each have their own little apartment goin' on. At this point, I'm feeling pretty good that we'll have 6 pounders on their birthday.

In other news, I've finally hit the point where I don't think I could get any bigger. Where I'm starting to think that my body couldn't possibly handle getting any bigger. So needless to say the past week I've been doing everything to start labor, without going too extreme (I mean...I know they say spicy food can work, but I don't want to end up having a super upset stomach and MONDO heartburn and still not go into labor. Taco Bell counts, right?) Obviously, nothing has worked so far :(

We had our first fetal non stress test (NST) yesterday, where they monitor the babes' heartbeats when they move and when they aren't moving, to make sure it's spiking at the appropriate time (I think...) But it also monitors if I'm having contractions. The last couple of days, I think I've been feeling sporadic ones, so when I asked the nurse (after the 40 minute test) if anything was going on, she looked at me and said "No." 

Well, she said more about it being just normal irritability (do I need to start damning that Taco Bell??) DARN IT ALL but all I heard was the resounding 'no'. I could just feel the beans high fiving in there, giggling. Already ganging up on me >:(

So now we're officially playing the waiting game. David goes back to work tomorrow, and since last Friday he's been super confident that the beans would be here before then. Now he's not so sure...and neither am I in all honesty. So I'll be doing laps around my air conditioned house or bouncing on a yoga ball hoping that contractions or water breaking commences. Fingers crossed something happens sooner than later!!

How far along? 37 weeks 3 days 

Total weight gain: About 38 lbs.  Apparently I'm still supposed to be gaining a pound a week because *shocker* the babies are just packing on pounds still. Which must be the reason literally every morning feels more and more difficult to get roll out of bed.

Maternity clothes?  Yep, and my moment of missing wearing them has passed. There are so many shirts that don't cover my giant belly anymore that getting dressed in the morning is just pretty depressing.
Sleep: I still have bouts of waking up in the middle of the night, but I don't have any shame falling back asleep at 7am and sleeping till like 11am. I'm taking full advantage of the advice "get sleep while you can!"
Best moment this week: David installing the car seats in our new minivan. Yep, we bought a minivan that we actually really love (despite it not having power sliding doors..we're working on rectifying this...). And I loved seeing the two car seats installed in the back, already filling up the extra space. We'll be driving that thing to the hospital a family of 2 and leaving as a family of 4. It's so mind blowing
Miss Anything? You know what I'm going to say. I miss not being pregnant. But I'm doing my best not to dwell on this because I know at any time now I won't be pregnant anymore and I'll miss their baby rolls and kicks. 
But let's be honest, that's the only thing I'll miss haha ;D

Movement: I've been pretty good about "counting" fetal kicks, like I'm supposed to be. It's supposed to be at least 10 an hour but they still are stretching and rolling all the time. Plus if I think "hmm, it's been a while since I've felt anything" I'll sort of poke and prod them till the push back. It's really endearing, actually <3
Food cravings: Nooooothing. I've been sticking with my little nibble plates (i.e. cheese, fruit, salami, crackers, aaaand whatever else we've got in our fridge/pantry) We did go out for sushi yesterday, after our NST appointment, figuring it would be a while till we'd be able to be back. And boy, was it deleeesh.

Anything making you queasy or sick: I have been feeling bouts of nausea, but then I drink some water and I'm ok again. Damn baby, hydration is no joke.
Gender:  Should I finally delete this question? I skip it every time haha 

Labor Signs: Le sigh. Pretty sure I've lost my mucus plug (sorry, readers haha), I'm a bit dilated and pretty effaced. So all the signs are there. Labor, where are thee??
Symptoms: Symptoms? Haha 37 weeks pregnant with twins. And all that comes with that. 

Belly Button in or out? Out
Wedding rings on or off? Off...sapphires fo' life
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy. We are just oh so happy. I realized I should probably get a picture of David and I while I'm still pregnant. He's been such a big part of this pregnancy (I mean...aside from the super obvious you-did-this-to-me angle) in that he's been just as excited about our new little ones as I have. 

Looking forward to: Come on...I'm looking forward to meeting our future doctor/artist/SherlockHolmes/bee-keeper 

An update? A rant? Still pregnant? You betcha.

Alright, let me start off the same way that I've been starting every conversation lately....no babies yet. No labor. No contractions. You'd think these babies, after being told for the last 9 months to not come early would listen to their mamma when I say "ok...I'm ready for you. Come, NOW" 

Ok, that's out of the way, I did have a doctor's appointment today, which my mom thankfully came to again since it was a different doctor than Fung. And let me say again that I think I've got the best doc ever. Today's doc was ok...she was super impressed I've gained only 36lbs and that my feet aren't crazy swollen. But she wasn't very warm or welcoming, something I realize I really like. Turns out I like small talk/banter with the people getting all up in my biz. 
So today's doctor let me know that I'm measuring 43 weeks. Fourty. Three. Weeks. That's a lot. No wonder my back and hips are not happy campers right now. Which makes me laugh because I haven't gotten one "ARE YOU HAVING TWINS?!" comment from strangers. Apparently I'm huge, but no one seems to really notice

She also told me (after a very aggressive cervical exam, ouch!) that I'm 2cm dilated, 50% effaced (what? last week I was 80%! She said that there is some variation between doctors about this. So I'm going to go with Fung's opinion and stick with 80%) and that Jack, Baby A, is +1 station, which means his head is fully engaged. Which means it's lodged in my pelvis, all ready to get out. Reference this nifty diagram (one of the most PG ones out there):

All that being said, I'm realizing that unless contractions start or my water breaks none of this means anything. Labor isn't here. WAH! Such a tease!

Speaking of being a tease, when I got home from the appointment, I started spotting. I got really freaked out/excited since I haven't spotted at all during this pregnancy, and I know that the "bloody show" (ew??) means that labor is eminent. But when I called L&D (after calling and freaking out David and my mom...oh, geeze), the nurse said that this apparently is totally fine after a cervical exam....go lay down and count baby kicks. She asked me if I've been counting baby kicks....um, no? But now I guess I have to. She said anything less than 10 kicks in an hour, come in.

Thankfully (or not thankfully? I don't know what I want...stay pregnant or go into L&D!?) the babes are still moving tons. 

It's really looking like I'll be posting a 37 week update :/ 

Good job Baby Beans, for staying put and growing perfectly these 9 months, but we want to meet you now. We're ready to spoil the heck out of you. Ready for the exhaustion and the crying and the poops and all of it. I never thought I'd get to this point of feeling 'ready' (one of the dumbest questions someone can ask a pregnant lady, in my opinion) but I really am now. 
So, GTFO and let me love you!

36 weeks!

36 weeks!!!! Hooray!! Hopefully this is the last belly/pregnancy update. Although I just have a feeling I'm going to go another week. Maybe it's because I don't feel any different, so labor doesn't feel like it's impending. But who knows! Finding out about these two was a surprise so I'm sure they'll surprise me with their decision of when to come into the world :)

How far along? 36 weeks 4 days 

Total weight gain: Still 36lbs. My appointment this past Friday confirmed, and I weighed myself this morning and yep...still 36. It definitely feels like its all in my belly. If I yell TIMBER...watch out because no joke....I'm 'bout to topple over

Maternity clothes?  Yep, and actually when I was doing laundry yesterday, I got a little sad that soon I won't have to wear my maternity stuff. Isn't that just the dumbest thing ever? Haha this whole time I've been over maternity clothes and now I'm already 'missing' them. So silly 
Sleep: I sleep A LOT. Still sporadic, but if I'm awake for a stretch at night, I'll sleep like 2-3 hours during the day. And any time I've gone out for simple things (like, getting a new Harry Potter book or church...) I get home and pass out
Best moment this week: Finding out that I'm 1 1/2 cm dilated and 80% effaced as of this past Friday!!!! Yay for my body getting ready for labor at the right time! I still haven't been feeling any consistent contractions, or anything particularly strong/painful so I'm hoping I get more dilated/effaced pain free ;) haha 
Oh, and going out to dinner with my in-laws...always nice to do something "social" these days. And stopping by little Willy Woo's 1st birthday party. I can't believe he's already a year old. I'm not liking this whole growing up thing.
Miss Anything? Nope! Just in a constant state of excitement to meet these two little loves!

Movement: Still constant, and they've been getting hiccups all the time, which is annoying haha. When Clare gets them, I feel them on my left side and pretty high up almost in my ribs. When Jack gets them, I feel them suuuper deep. It's really weird. Thank goodness they haven't gotten them at the same time. It would just be ridiculous. 
Food cravings: No, and I've been eating more and more like a bird....little teeny meals all day. 

Anything making you queasy or sick: Nothing new
Gender:  Still our little boy and girl

Labor Signs: Nothing consistent. I keep waiting for my water to suddenly break or to go to the bathroom and see spotting but nothing! Come on babies! 
Symptoms: Nothing new. I feel dumb listing out all the things that are achy...I've got like 12lbs of baby in here. I'm just sore and huge, and all that comes along with that. So this week I've concentrated on pampering myself. There's lots of this late at night: 

Shhhh, don't tell David. I think I'd scare the pants off him ;P

Belly Button in or out? Out/flat.

Wedding rings on or off? Off...sapphires fo' life
Happy or Moody most of the time: Happy! And SUPER excited!! I can't wait to meet these two!!! I'm dying to know them outside my body ;)

Looking forward to: I mean...come on. MEETING THESE TWO BEANS! I can't wait to know their personalities and feel their baby skin on mine and just start the parenting adventure with David.