Jack and Clare: 5 months!

Ok, so I missed a month 4 update all together. But let's be honest...damn shorty, I busy! I don't know how any mom blogs consistently. But today the beans are 5 months and TA-DA here's some updates :)

JACK

Weight: Not sure...weighing babies is too hard! I'm just gonna wait until their 6 month appt
Length: Again, didn't measure :/
Diaper size: Size 2

Clothing size: I still squish him into 3 months because I just love how chunky he looks, but I'm slowly transitioning him to 3-6 and 6 month stuff

Nicknames: Jackie has stayed consistent for both me and David

Health: I'm wondering if he and Clare have a Hercules complex and just can't get sick. He's in the beginning stages of teething though. Drool everywhere, chewing on his hands...it's awesome. Oh but he spits up much less lately, which is good. He definitely still spits up, but not nearly the crazy amounts that he used to. I can't wait till this phase is over!!

Sleep: Since I wrote two loooong posts about sleep, I keep it nice and concise. It's good :)

Diet: Only breast milk still. I'm going to wait until 6 months to try food since I'm just not in any rush.

Milestones: Just this morning he rolled from tummy to back. A BIG deal for him! I was so proud! I came into their room and saw him like that though so I didn't actually see him roll over. I can't wait to! 

Speech: He loves screeching when he's excited and making these loud dinosaur sounds when he's upset


CLARE

Weight: No idea. See 6 month post? haha
Length: didn't measure
Diaper size: Size 2

Clothing size: 3 months, although she's getting a little bit too long for them. But there's no way she'd fit in anything 6 month. She's just too tiny

Nicknames: Little Miss, Cutie Little Bootie (actually we call her and Jack that haha) and Little Maniac

Health: No sickness here!! Not teething yet though. I'm not sure if I want her and Jack to be teething at the same time...get it over with more quickly but 2 grumpy babes. Good thing it's not up to me!!

Sleep: She is AWESOME. I am just so proud of this little maniac for being able to fall asleep on her own night after night. Especially since she used to cry SO MUCH even when I'd rock her to sleep. You go, big girl!

Diet: BM just like Jack. I'm curious to see how she's going to do w/ solids. I've tried giving some frozen BM in a little mesh pouch to them and Jack has taken interest but Clare wanted nothing to do with it. I know I'm waiting till they're 6 months but I really am excited to start food just to see what they think about it!

Milestones: She can practically crawl. We put her down for a second and next thing we know she's damn near across the room, it's crazy how well she can get around just by rolling and scooting. I'm not sure if this is a milestone, but she fell off the couch a couple weeks ago. It was the last time (obviously) that I sat either of them on the couch.

Speech: She's started babbling when she falls asleep, which is just the cah-utest thing ever. She's also started making the little screechy sound when she is excited just like Jack. I love it so much


Baby Gear Love:
-Our jumper! We've got that Fisher-Price Rainforest one, and it's great. Clare looooves to bounce like a mad woman in it and Jack loves all of the little toys attached.
-Plastic rings. Who knew! Just little plastic rings that you can string together. They're so easy for them to grab and chew on
-A+D ointment. Now that they are both (but Jack especially) drool factories, their chins are so chapped. A+D ointment smells soooo good and clears up their chapped skin in a jif!
-Coconut oil. I massage them before bed, and it just smells great and makes their skin extra soft, if that's possible
-Baby Jogger City Mini Double stroller. They love taking walks in it and I've actually fallen in love taking them out to run errands in it. It's nice for them to check everything out, although I am craving a side-by-side where they face me. If only strollers weren't so gosh darn expensive!
-Baby Bjorn. Now that they're a bit older and have great head control, it's nice to be able to just snap them up in the Baby Bjorn and carry them around for a bit. Plus I loved how much more inexpensive it is compared to the Ergo (although totally still want an Ergo too for back carry. Hi, I'm Jennica and I have a baby carrier addiction)

 

Other things of note about month 5: 

Does this bit seem weird? Maybe it should be "Other things of note about month 4" since they are just starting month 5. I don't know. In any case, this has been a big turning point for us. The babes are finally sleeping great, which has made everybody oh-so happy. We're getting out so much more to hang with friends, go shopping and visiting family.
I remember other twin parents that we would run into when the babes were just born who would tell us that months 3-4 is when things get easier. And man alive, they were right. 
Jack and Clare are starting to notice each other more, although it's mostly just passing glances. Not tons of interaction just yet. Which, in my selfishness makes me happy because I love being their favorite person :)
Now on to the pics! I realize that this month I've been taking a lot more videos of them rather than pictures since they're so much more interactive! I'll have to remember to snap some still shots too!

Using the Ferber Method with Twins: Days 5-7

Continuation of Ferberization! The journey to better sleep for everyone!

Day 5 | 15 min (1st wait), 17 min, 20 min, 20 min (subsequent waits)
This was the first day I was without David for support. Their naps were still sporadic, especially in the late afternoon...they'd seem tired (rubbing eyes, yawning, not playing as much) but when I'd put them down, they'd just cry and cry until the nap was "over". BUT bedtime was awesome. We went upstairs and I let them play with me on the bed and just wind down. We did bedtime routine and I put them down at 6:50. Clare fell asleep damn near instantly...there was like 5 mins of intermitted crying but nothing to warrant the start of a timer. AMAZING! Jack took a bit longer, about 20 mins of squeaking...again not full blown crying so not enough to start a timer. I didn't even need the giant glass of wine I poured for myself (although, lets be honest...I drank it anyway) or my parents who I put 'on call' in case I was in for another hour of relentless crying and needed a hug. 
PHEW! In Ferber's book he says that by day 3-4 their sleep should dramatically improve, and although this is only the 2nd day where there was significant improvement, I have a feeling we're absolutely doing the right thing. GO BABIES, YOU ROCK!
**I should also say that the last two days Clare has woken up chatting in her crib, happy as a clam. And this morning Jack woke up super calm and happy too (which he never does, since he doesn't like waking up on his belly, usually. The lil weirdo haha)

Day 6 | 17 min (1st wait), 20 min, 25 min, 25 min (subsequent waits)
Today was another reminder that their naps are tricky, but I think I'm spotting a pattern. Jack needs long morning naps and can stay up much later in the late afternoon. Clare likes shorter naps (30-45 mins) and needs 4. Jack maybe can just do 3? I used to feel really confident with their daytime and dreaded bedtime, and now it's opposite! This night they fell asleep after maybe 2 minutes of crying. I mean, barely anything. It was more like "HEY! You're leaving?! ZZZZZzzzZZZZ" Jack did wake up after about an hour of nodding off, I think something just spooked him though because he woke up crying but fell back asleep before my first timer went off. Good job, bud!
Also, Clare woke up at like 6am (boo for that!) and was crying, but heard her cries turn into babbling so I left her. She woke up again at 730, the normal wake up time and had a crazy diaper blow out. All over her, her jammies, the sheet...meh. She still woke up smiling and happy so I didn't feel toooo bad (read: I felt horrible). But still, they fell asleep so fast, on their own and stayed that way all night. Despite getting spooked and making righteous goo. 

Day 7 | 20 min (1st wait), 25 min, 30 min, 30 min (subsequent waits)
This day, the day that the program "technically" ends (although Ferber writes that even if there is just slight improvement, continue on until Day 10) was miraculous. All FOUR naps happened at the same time, for good amounts of time (i.e. 45-1 hour long) with ZERO crying. There's some babbling, some baby dinosaur sounds (Jack...) and such, but I look at that as totally normal. I don't fall asleep the minute my head hits the pillow. Usually I'm on my phone or reading a book or watching tv, etc etc. So they can talk and babble all they want, because boy does it sound so much better than an hour of screaming! 
This is the 3rd day I've noticed they've both needed a nap around 8:30, which is awesome since I was hoping this program would help me regulate their naps. 
They sleep so great through the night still, and only wake up around 4am to eat. I do give them a dream feed around 10pm as well. They are still exclusively breastfed (and in the 1st and 4th percentile for their age) so the fact that they eat at night still doesn't bother me at all. 
If you had asked me a week ago if my babies could fall asleep without being rocked, without a pacifier, without waking up in the middle of the night for comfort I would have said no friggin way. This week they have shown me to never underestimate them...they are little powerhouses and if I just have some faith in them, they can exceed my expectations :) 

Final Thoughts

I am just so infinitely proud of Jack and Clare (and let's be honest, David and myself). I have told myself again and again that sleeping is a skill and we as parents need to help our babies figure it out early for the sake and sanity of everyone. Already, I'm not daunted by doing bedtime by myself anymore--in fact I look forward to it! The babes seem happier when they're awake, and can go longer between feedings during the day. And at night, since they only wake up once to eat, I'm finally sleeping longer than 3 hour blocks at a time. 
They don't fall asleep with pacifiers anymore it's true, but we still have them/use them sporadically if they're being cranky when we're out. We definitely try to steer clear of using them to assist in falling asleep (this was thrown out the window yesterday during church when both babes wanted to babble and talk while going to sleep. So in went the pacis!) 
Clare doesn't sleep with any kind of swaddling (her Magic Sleepsuit, the swing, the giant papasan chair we brought down, which is basically like a giant nest for her haha). She used to always wake up from Jack crying (she's so much more of a light sleeper) as well, but now it doesn't seem to bother her. So not only do David and I have our evenings back, our twins are falling asleep easier and staying asleep better. Can I get a hallelujah?!

This little face just cracks me up!

How she managed to get her arm out of that onesie, I'll never know!
She's such a rough and tumble!

Just look at these happy babes!!
(Clare never smiles on demand..it was the best I could get! haha)

Using the Ferber Method with Twins: Days 1-4

Any new parent will tell you (and non-parents as well) that once your little bundle of joy arrives, you will never sleep. 

You will in reality get very minimal sleep, but somehow it still feels like you're getting literally ZERO hours at night.
And after 4.5 months of running on fumes, David and I (and our pediatrician, of course) decided it was time for Jack and Clare to learn how to fall asleep on their own. No rocking, no pacifiers, no back patting, no swings, no falling asleep on mom or dad. Basically no outside help getting to dreamland, because frankly we were just exhausted from being on sleep watch, making sure they got enough sleep and stayed asleep. 
So off to Ferber-land we went! I already knew we would use the Ferber method before reading the book (which, if you are going to use the "cry-it-out" method [or the better name, "progressive waiting"] READ.THE.BOOK. It repels all and any fears you may have about allowing your baby to fall asleep all on their own. It doesn't make it easier to hear him/her cry, but nothing will. Ok....wine does. Wine helps a little)
I knew we would use Ferber because Jack and Clare both have fallen asleep on their own before. Not consistently and not at bedtime, but they have. Which convinced me that they were capable of it, so David and I as parents had to put on our big girl panties (yep, David too) and create the environment for them to sleep on their own. If we kept giving them all of the extras, how could they ever learn to fall asleep without them?

Ferber works off of 'progressive waiting'--basically you put your kid to bed, and go in and check on them at timed intervals. The check-ins I think are mostly for the benefit of the parents so that you can unfurl your body from the tight ball you've curled up into. But you aren't supposed to pick them up--you really just stay 1-2 minutes, tell them you love them, you know they can do it, maybe give a couple pats and then leave again. Even if they don't even slow down crying. Even if their crying got worse. But Ferber also says going in and assuring your little that you're still there reminds them that they aren't abandoned and are still in a safe place (again...whatever you want to tell yourself to run up and try to comfort your babe...) No matter how long it takes for them to go to sleep (our pediatrician said with her son, he cried for up to 3 hours...wowza) do not pick them up to rock or bring into your bed. If you resort back to the techniques you are trying to quit them of, all of that crying will have truly been for nothing.

Here's our journey :)

Day 1 | 3 min (1st wait), 5 min, 10 min, 10 min (subsequent waits)
We didn't use Ferber for the naps today, instead used them to enjoy the last (at least for the next week) rocking, holding, and patting to sleep. The book recommends to do your normal bedtime routine, which for us is heading upstairs to change into pjs, nurse, a bedtime book, and some last minute cuddles on mom and dad's bed (no bath, as we found it tends to wake them up more) and put the baby down at or AFTER the normal time they fall asleep. You basically do not want to put your baby down before they are sleepy, because they'll cry about not being sleep. 
We put them down in their cribs at 7:15pm. AAAAAAaaand the crying commenced! We went in at 3 mins, patted their backs/belly, said I love you and you can do this and left. They were DEFINITELY still crying. Our visit didn't seem to calm or help them at all. Cue the wine and the board game!!
After about 30 mins, Jack finally fell asleep. No peep from him! Clare didn't fall asleep for about an hour, but it wasn't an hour of solid crying. She'd stop (assumedly be asleep) but then wake herself up again and cried again. At that point, we'd start the 10 min timer but she would stop before the 10 mins were up, so we wouldn't go check on her. 
Not a bad start! I've heard about babies crying for 3 hours the first day. 
*Note: I will say that Clare was EXTRA hungry during the night. They usually eat 1-2 times in the middle of the night, and it's always Jack who wakes first. But this night Clare woke up STARVING after only 3 hour stretches. She was trying to eat her hands, and crazy-nursed for a full 8 mins. All that crying and rolling around in her crib made her uber hungry.

Day 2 | 5 min (1st wait), 10 min, 12 min, 12 min (subsequent waits)
Their naps were all in their cribs upstairs. They've consistently been needing naps after 1-1.5 hours of being awake. So once we started seeing them slow down during playtime or yawning, we scooped em up, brought them upstairs, kissed them and said have a good nap! All of their naps they went down after about 5-10 mins of some squeaking (not full blown crying, but not falling quietly to sleep either). BUT Jack did not want evening naps, and so basically stayed up for like 4 hours before bedtime and Clare took VERY short naps (i.e. 30 mins max) So by the time bedtime rolled around, they were very tired. 
We put them in their cribs at 6:45 since they were oh-so-ready for sleep, went downstairs, started the timer for 10 mins and started making dinner. Which was much better than playing a game, since I could chop and cook things and keep my hands busy. 
Jack fell asleep after about 15 mins of hard crying and Clare fell asleep after 45 total mins of crying. Again, she fell asleep around the same time Jack did (or at least calmed down for a bit) but then woke herself up a bit. I blame myself a bit for her having a harder time because for the last couple of weeks she's fallen asleep at night in a swing, which wouldn't always be on, but if she started fussing I'd switch it on. Where as Jack has always fallen asleep in the co-sleeper. When he's really tired, he typically doesn't even liked to be held/rocked by us.
I should also note that after the 2nd wait time (10 mins) we didn't go back up even though Clare was still crying. Clare would cry, then stop for a bit, then get going again. And we knew if we went in, we'd just stimulate her more. 

Day 3 | 10 min (1st wait), 12 min, 15 min, 15 min (subsequent waits)
Today wasn't any different than Day 2, other than their naps. Both of them took EPIC naps all day. I'm talking 1.5-2 hour naps. Clare even fell asleep on our walk, which she never does. It must have caught up with them because they were sleeeeepy babies. The book says to not let naps make up for any lost night sleep, but they haven't lost any night sleep really so I figured they just needed it. They went to sleep that night like usual...Jack cried for like 10 mins and Clare cried (off and on) for about an hour. 

Day 4 | 12 min (1st wait), 15 min, 17 min, 17 min (subsequent waits)
Today was back to not wanting naps, and actually they both missed their afternoon naps damn near all together, except for a little catnap they had in the car around 5pm. So when bedtime rolled around I was preparing myself for another night of having to listen to our babies cry. Let me tell you, it does not get any easier as the days go on. I was definitely doubting myself at this point. The only saving grace (aside from David, who throughout all of it remained steadfast in our decision--yay teamwork!) was that they were sleeping SO MUCH BETTER through the night. The past two days they would only wake up ONCE to eat around 3am or 4am, fall right back asleep once I put them back (I'd usually have to pat/rock them back to sleep after nursing/burping) and wouldn't wake up again until morning. So I knew that at least they were getting great nights of sleep.
Ok, so bedtime rolls around, I give them a massage with coconut oil and eucalyptus (I've done this the past two nights as well...) and put on some orajel (without the benzocaine....) because I think they are teething. Already this bedtime I am noticing that Clare is babbling like she does in the morning when she's just waking up (i.e. her happiest) and not rolling around like a maniac. They are both very calm and mellow (Jack is always pretty calm and mellow haha) But I'm thinking that in a minute they're going to unleash their fury on us for not rocking them to sleep. 
We kiss them goodnight, put them down and leave. We go downstairs and I hear some squeaking (not full on crying yet, so I don't start my timer). It's 7:12. At 7:18 I hear Jackie stop. At 7:25 I hear Clare stops. I pray and pray that she's asleep and LO AND BEHOLD SHE IS! They both fell asleep in less than TEN MINUTES!! 
I cried tears of joy and wanted to scoop them up right then to kiss and snuggle them because I was just so proud. My sweet littles drifted off to sleep on their own :) 
This was definitely the best night so far, but we'll see how it goes till Day 7 (the "end" of the program)

Single Baby Envy--My Guilty Thoughts

I've been plagued with envy this last month especially. Single baby envy. Obviously I love both Jack and Clare to pieces, and any time I'm thinking, "I like Clare a little bit better right now" (or vice versa...) I pick up Jack and think "Psh, no you're my favorite too". There's been quite a few times recently though, I've caught myself thinking "if I only had one baby..."

like if I only had one baby, I could go out with him/her and be able to nurse no big deal
if I only had one baby I would have a regular stroller that can fit in between ridiculously small aisles in stores
if I only had one baby I would be able to rock him/her to sleep every night
if I only had one baby I could grab him/her in the middle of the night when they were hungry and nurse lying down in bed
if I only had one baby I wouldn't have half as many people stopping us when we do go out, prolonging a quick outing

if I only had one baby, sometimes I think it would be WAY easier

BUT

it might not be. Because I hear/read/see all the time new parents of a little one who seem to be struggling more than me. Who have issues nursing, or have a colicky baby, or an unhealthy baby. 
And this is going to sound horrible, absolutely horrible, but I follow a few twin mom Instagrammers who have preemie babes, who are so sick and need so much love and help. And part of me knows I follow them not just because they're fellow twin moms, but because it's a daily reminder to appreciate my two babies. 

My two healthy, happy babies who are able to cry because their lungs work properly. Who need to be held sometimes for no reason because I'm their favorite person, and just being in my arms makes them feel the happiest. Who wake up two-three times a night because they breastfeed and it's digested faster. But when they both want all of that at the same time, somehow 2 +2 doesn't equal 4. My two arms fall short of holding two babies.

Blah, this is pretty rambly, but I can only vent to my family so much until it becomes obnoxious. So, dear blog, I write to you in hopes that Future Me reads this, is reminded to never take for granted the two littles, and know that even though having one might look easier, what you've got is so much better. 

Jack and Clare: Three Months!

Apologies future self, for failing already on taking monthly photos. David went back to work this month and setting the white board up with their likes and dislikes (which, by now are pretty consistent with their first 2 months...eating and pooping good. Gas and overtired-ness bad) just feels like such a chore. Good thing I take so many of them daily ;P


JACK

Weight: 12.8 lbs, still my chunky lump!
Length: didn't measure, oops
Diaper size: Size 1 but blowing them up on the reg
Clothing size: 0-3 but moving quickly to just 3 months

Nicknames: I've been calling him Jackie and Jackie Boy a LOT

Health: Still no colds here! Lots of friends' babes are getting sick, but we're still healthy, phew

Sleep: Good, most of the time. We love the eat, play (for like an hour), sleep routine during the day, and Jack is still a champion napper. Sleep at night is a bit more hit and miss. Poor boy still spits up tons, so his upset belly will keep him up sometimes. But as long as he's got a good burp and has all the yuck-milk out of his system, he'll stay asleep all night (except to wake up and eat)

Diet: Still milk, derp still about every 3 hours, give or take an hour

Milestones: He smiles ALL the time, and is just starting to grab toys put in front of his face. No rolling over or laughing just yet.
Speech: Talks a lot, especially when his diaper is getting changed 


CLARE

Weight: 10.8 lbs
Length: didn't measure
Diaper size: Size 1
Clothing size: finally fits properly in 0-3 and 3 months in Carter's. LOVING all her cute clothes :)

Nicknames: Clare Marie, Little Miss

Health: Healthy baby! 

Sleep: She has been awesome the last couple weeks. She's napping much better during the day--there's been several times (and usually at least 1 time a day) I'll put her in the crib awake when it's nap time, and she'll fall asleep on her own :)
She still will hysterically cry before she goes down for the night, although not every night and not nearly as long as before. She'll stay asleep though the whole night, except to eat.

Diet: Milk! The last few days have been growth spurt time for her (maybe Jack too, but he wants to eat non stop all the time all the time) because she wants to eat sometimes every hour, and will cry when my let down doesn't happen fast enough

Milestones: Rolling over like a crazy person, and will scoot around on her belly. 
Speech: Still my chatty cathy. Sometimes when she's nursing, she'll stop and just coo at me. It's pretty darn cute


Baby Gear Love:
-Solly Baby Wrap. It is SO soft and keeps the baby SO close to you, without feeling like you're smothering them with fabric. I wish this was the first wrap I got (although Jack seems to prefer my ring sling at the moment, but I think it's because he's less wriggly than Clare and sits comfortably in it)
-changing tables. They just make everything so convenient
-Zippy bandana bibs. They are just so darn cute and are a nice barrier for these drooly babes. I broke and got some Christmas ones for them ;D

Other things of note about month 3: 

I went out with them on my own for the first time last week, to Target, where else haha. They did really well, and they were awake most of the trip. So I'm slowly gaining confidence, although some days I wake up and still think "how the heck am I going to handle them today?" Usually those days Jack and Clare are on their best behavior and make me love them that much more.
I've been doing the whole eat, play, sleep routine and it seems to be working really well. They've been loving their activity mat and I can usually let them hang out there for a good 20-30 mins, sometimes flipping them on their bellies to get some tummy time.
They love (usually) when I read Goodnight Moon to them, and will lay there attentively until it's over :) 
They prefer taking showers, held by David or me to baths. Well, they like baths but still hate getting out in the cold.
They both will notice each other, and a few times each will smile and coo. But no real interaction yet. I can't wait for that!!!