Thursday, October 30, 2014

Twins means two babies, but one mom

It finally happened the other day...I hit a wall. After two solid months of no sleep, thousands of diapers, a gallon of spit up, and broken ear drums from baby crying (ok...not really that last one) I had a breakdown. I cried while holding Clare, blubbering to David about how I'm tired of being tired. 

It wasn't beautiful girl crying like this:














It was ugly, snotty crying like this:















Geeze, isn't Johnny Depp just so pretty? 

Anyway, David being very astute promptly grabbed Little Miss and kicked me out of the house. He literally made me leave. So I got in my car, in my pjs, with unwashed hair, still crying and drove to my parent's house. Luckily my mom was there because I needed someone to hug me and give me pity. I was a mom who needed my mom. I sobbed into her shoulder, saying "twins are hard" over and over again. And she held me and let me let it out. I said what I never wanted to say....that two babies is hard and I don't know how I'm going to do it. I don't want to do it right now. 
And she understood, held me and made me feel that it was all ok and normal and I wasn't a horrible mom. 

Then she set me up with a bubble bath. A real bath with no babies to wash. It was awesome, I soaked in the bubbles watching Gilmore Girls on my phone and tried to detox. 

I went home two hours later feeling so much better. Full from dinner that I didn't make and wasn't take out, relaxed from soaking in a baby-free tub, and feeling relieved from admitting that I was overwhelmed by my beautiful babes.

I will be forever grateful to David on insisting we live in our hometown, close to our families so my mom can still rock her crying baby, 27 years later.

Friday, October 24, 2014

Jack and Clare: Two Months!


Alright, for the sake of trying to be good about writing during their first year, I found a little template for their monthly updates to fill in. Because just sitting down with a cup of coffee to mull over what I should write is a thing of the past! (ok...I do have coffee in front of me, but it's more out of necessity now than enjoyment)


First up, Mr. Number One himself...JACKIE BOY!


Weight: 10.6 lbs, what a chunkster!
Length: 23 inches
Diaper size: Size 1
Clothing size: 0-3, although in Carter's he's in 3 months. Carter's runs smaller than most, which was great for newborn stuff. But he's still a bit small for 3 months, even in Carter's and too big for newborn. He's only in the 10th percentile in weight, so it's no surprise!

Nicknames: The latest have been Jacques, Jacques Cousteau, Bud, Bubsy, Baby Bunch, Turkey
Health: Perfectly healthy! He did great with his 2 month shots...cried a bit but then spent the next two days sleeping it off :) He still spits up, but always has a huge smile when he does, like he's saying "I made that for you, Mom!" 
David and I were a bit worried because his head always seems to want to fall to his right side, and I've read about babies having issues with their neck and head shape if they heavily prefer one side to the other (thanks again Google for freaking me out) But the doctor did some basic tests and said he was totally fine, babies typically prefer one side to the other, just like we do (go figure..they're like real people! ;) So we just have to dangle toys on his left side, and try adjusting him when he sleeps. Luckily, he's the happiest baby around, so it's all been no problemo :)
Sleep: Ok, sleep is good. I need to keep reminding myself of this, because I still wake up between 2-3 times in the middle of the night to feed them (I have to include Clare in this one a bit, because they eat at the same time, so they typically sleep at the same time...phew!) But he falls asleep really easily at night, whether in the crib or in a swing...just depending on how much I had to wake him up (i.e. if he made goo and I really had to wipe that booty) During the day it depends...sometimes he needs lots of snuggles, other times I lay him down and he'll just nod off on his own. His (and Clare's) witching hours are between 7-10pm, when usually they both just want to be held and moved about 
Diet: Milk! Neither him or Clare go longer than 3 hours during the day without eating...sometimes I have to wake both of them up, but Jack never seems to have a problem with it. I don't even have to try to wake him up to eat anymore...he knows what to do haha 
Doc wants me to give them Vitamin D drops, buuuut I'm thinking I'll skip that. 
Milestones: He's great at tummy time, and enjoys it at short intervals. He's been opening and closing his hands on my shirt or skin (ouch), so working on his grasp. The doctor thinks he'll be rolling over any day now, eep :O
Speech: Makes coo sounds pretty often, but likes to make little screech sounds more. 



And now for Little Miss Clare!



Weight: 9.2 lbs. She's in the 4th percentile, the little thing!
Length: 22 inches
Diaper size: Size 1
Clothing size: 0-3 is a bit big on her, but she's a bit big for most newborn stuff. 3 months is way too big, but I stick her in some of that too haha

Nicknames: Little Miss, Sweet Miss, Turkey. I have been calling her Clare Marie a bit, but it's just her full name, so I'm not sure if it counts as a nickname? haha
Health: Perfectly healthy! Did even better than Jack with her shots...barely cried, and then when right to sleep haha. We were expecting the worst from her! 
Sleep: She wakes up to eat a bit more than Jack in the middle of the night, but again...goes right back to sleep after. They definitely know daytime from nighttime now! She has gotten in the habit though of crying hysterically if she's tired at the end of the day. She'll get all frantic when she's eating, start screaming until I rock her for literally 2 minutes and she passes out. A friend told me that she thinks babies need to cry like that sometimes to expel extra energy. I dunno....Clare must have lots of extra energy.
Diet: Milk! Again, never longer than 3 hours without eating during the day and she seems to want to eat more often at night than Jack, but I think it's because she's still so itty bitty
Milestones: She loves being on her tummy, and has awesome neck/head control. When she's doing tummy time, she'll kick her legs like mad, and grab at whatever she's laying on to help her scoot her little body across the floor. It gives me a heart attack...I swear, she's going to be crawling by 4 months :O
Speech: She loves talking. She'll just sit and coo to herself for a good 15 minutes. She also always laughs in her sleep. That girl has to have the funniest dreams :)


Baby Gear Love:

-Swings
-Any and all kinds of baby carriers. I want more! :P
-My Breast Friend pillow, still. Dunno what I'd do without it


Other things of note about month 2: 

This month has definitely been better than the 1st. They know day from night now and have lots of "happy" awake time, rather than just fussy get-me-back-to-sleep awake time. We've also mastered tandem breast feeding, and I know when their heads are more stable, it'll get easier since I won't need to depend on my giant pillow every time (i.e. in the middle of the night when I want to lay back and keep sleeping....)
They like to be rocked a lot, so we've really been loving depending on swings. But usually what happens during the day is one baby is ok to be in a swing, while the other needs to be held. Which is fine, since rocking/holding both is still so tricky.
They both love walks and being outside. We don't really use toys or playmats yet, since they seem totally fascinated by the ceiling fan, our faces and the outdoors. They still don't like their car seats, and typically will cry when we're at any stopping point when driving. Clare will still spit out her pacifier, and then cry because she wants it back. Jack will sort of let it fall out (less purposeful than Clare) and then cry because he wants it back. Silly babes.
They both smile tons, especially when David or I are talking to them. Jack more so than Clare, and Jack is especially smiley when getting his diaper changed. 

I'm getting more used to having people oggle them when we go out, but I've also gotten better about brushing people off when they want to just stand and chat with me about twin crap. Sounds harsh, but since we're still working off of a 3 hour eating window, I ain't got time to hear about your 30 year old friend who's a twin or tell you all the stats about mine! #sorrynotsorry ;)

And if this post couldn't be any longer, baby pics! <3