It finally happened the other day...I hit a wall. After two solid months of no sleep, thousands of diapers, a gallon of spit up, and broken ear drums from baby crying (ok...not really that last one) I had a breakdown. I cried while holding Clare, blubbering to David about how I'm tired of being tired.
It wasn't beautiful girl crying like this:
It was ugly, snotty crying like this:
Geeze, isn't Johnny Depp just so pretty?
Anyway, David being very astute promptly grabbed Little Miss and kicked me out of the house. He literally made me leave. So I got in my car, in my pjs, with unwashed hair, still crying and drove to my parent's house. Luckily my mom was there because I needed someone to hug me and give me pity. I was a mom who needed my mom. I sobbed into her shoulder, saying "twins are hard" over and over again. And she held me and let me let it out. I said what I never wanted to say....that two babies is hard and I don't know how I'm going to do it. I don't want to do it right now.
And she understood, held me and made me feel that it was all ok and normal and I wasn't a horrible mom.
Then she set me up with a bubble bath. A real bath with no babies to wash. It was awesome, I soaked in the bubbles watching Gilmore Girls on my phone and tried to detox.
I went home two hours later feeling so much better. Full from dinner that I didn't make and wasn't take out, relaxed from soaking in a baby-free tub, and feeling relieved from admitting that I was overwhelmed by my beautiful babes.
I will be forever grateful to David on insisting we live in our hometown, close to our families so my mom can still rock her crying baby, 27 years later.
Thursday, October 30, 2014
Friday, October 24, 2014
Jack and Clare: Two Months!
Alright, for the sake of trying to be good about writing during their first year, I found a little template for their monthly updates to fill in. Because just sitting down with a cup of coffee to mull over what I should write is a thing of the past! (ok...I do have coffee in front of me, but it's more out of necessity now than enjoyment)
First up, Mr. Number One himself...JACKIE BOY!
Weight: 10.6 lbs, what a chunkster!
Length: 23 inches
Diaper size: Size 1
Clothing size: 0-3, although in Carter's he's in 3 months. Carter's runs smaller than most, which was great for newborn stuff. But he's still a bit small for 3 months, even in Carter's and too big for newborn. He's only in the 10th percentile in weight, so it's no surprise!
David and I were a bit worried because his head always seems to want to fall to his right side, and I've read about babies having issues with their neck and head shape if they heavily prefer one side to the other (thanks again Google for freaking me out) But the doctor did some basic tests and said he was totally fine, babies typically prefer one side to the other, just like we do (go figure..they're like real people! ;) So we just have to dangle toys on his left side, and try adjusting him when he sleeps. Luckily, he's the happiest baby around, so it's all been no problemo :)
Doc wants me to give them Vitamin D drops, buuuut I'm thinking I'll skip that.
Speech: Makes coo sounds pretty often, but likes to make little screech sounds more.
And now for Little Miss Clare!
Weight: 9.2 lbs. She's in the 4th percentile, the little thing!
Length: 22 inches
Diaper size: Size 1
Clothing size: 0-3 is a bit big on her, but she's a bit big for most newborn stuff. 3 months is way too big, but I stick her in some of that too haha
Speech: She loves talking. She'll just sit and coo to herself for a good 15 minutes. She also always laughs in her sleep. That girl has to have the funniest dreams :)
Baby Gear Love:
-Swings
-Any and all kinds of baby carriers. I want more! :P
-My Breast Friend pillow, still. Dunno what I'd do without it
This month has definitely been better than the 1st. They know day from night now and have lots of "happy" awake time, rather than just fussy get-me-back-to-sleep awake time. We've also mastered tandem breast feeding, and I know when their heads are more stable, it'll get easier since I won't need to depend on my giant pillow every time (i.e. in the middle of the night when I want to lay back and keep sleeping....)
They like to be rocked a lot, so we've really been
They both love walks and being outside. We don't really use toys or playmats yet, since they seem totally fascinated by the ceiling fan, our faces and the outdoors. They still don't like their car seats, and typically will cry when we're at any stopping point when driving. Clare will still spit out her pacifier, and then cry because she wants it back. Jack will sort of let it fall out (less purposeful than Clare) and then cry because he wants it back. Silly babes.
They both smile tons, especially when David or I are talking to them. Jack more so than Clare, and Jack is especially smiley when getting his diaper changed.
I'm getting more used to having people oggle them when we go out, but I've also gotten better about brushing people off when they want to just stand and chat with me about twin crap. Sounds harsh, but since we're still working off of a 3 hour eating window, I ain't got time to hear about your 30 year old friend who's a twin or tell you all the stats about mine! #sorrynotsorry ;)
And if this post couldn't be any longer, baby pics! <3
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